ambivalence

I had said I would quit running after Nashville. I still went out to run a few times during November, taking it easy, but thinking of how I would gradually increase mileage. Instead of running more though, I stopped altogether. After a while I started missing it. I was thinking of doing another 50-miler. I was thinking of not running at all, or of going for a triathlon. To put an end to the thinking I signed up for a marathon in April. So now I was running again. It didn't come easy. After a while I started resenting it.