scared

I did not start blogging live, in real time, three months or more ago, because I was scared. I was afraid that I would lose heart, give up on the marathon and everything that goes with it. One day it would be too much, the discipline, the physical exertion, the time investment. I would turn to smaller, regular things, would lose spark and glow, would stay behind diminished.

For a long time I did not decide I will run the marathon. Deciding was much too much of a commitment. For months, I did not make up my mind. The only thing I did was not to stop.