don't know, don't know, dont' know

...what to do.

Part of me wants to stand at the start line in El Paso on March 2nd, ready for the miles ahead, no matter what it takes.

Part of me wants nothing to do with running anymore, wants pretty clothes, wants sleeping in, wants long weekends spent writing, wants to go back to who I was before.

I ran since the last marathon in December, just a tiny bit each week, careful to increase my weekly mileage, even if only by a mile or two each week.

The problem is I am not anymore who I was before. I am a marathon runner.