don't know, don't know, dont' know
...what to do.
Part of me wants to stand at the start line in El Paso on March 2nd, ready for the miles ahead, no matter what it takes.
Part of me wants nothing to do with running anymore, wants pretty clothes, wants sleeping in, wants long weekends spent writing, wants to go back to who I was before.
I ran since the last marathon in December, just a tiny bit each week, careful to increase my weekly mileage, even if only by a mile or two each week.
The problem is I am not anymore who I was before. I am a marathon runner.
posted by runliarun @ 5:46 PM
5 Comments:
I think you answered your own question in the last sentence.
I wonder...do you feel compelled to run each day? Do you feel the tug? Do you look at races online and dream about them?
You could run shorter and have the sleeping in, pretty dress, writing away life. You could run maintenance miles, join 5-10ks and half marathons and have time for it all.
It's hard to know, isn't it? I'm glad you are back.
I agree with backofpack - shorter runs mean less time training and a little more time for sleeping in, etc. (Or, just running fewer marathons, if you aren't ready to let go of the 26.2.) I know you didn't love running, but letting go is hard, too! I hope you keep running - you've accomplished so much, you are amazing! But, only you know what's best for you.
I think you can always do all of that and more, even being a marathon runner.
Just enjoy the moments and don't get caught up in the number of races to do or PR's to attain..
Profound. It is a feeling that is hard to explain to ourselves. Those around us have little chance of understanding. No matter what or when you decide, you are and always will be a marathon runner.
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