i know

The lesions on my skin are healing so slowly I sometimes doubt my doctor has the right diagnosis - lead toxicity, of which skin marks are not a typical symptom anyhow. On the other hand, they are definitely fading, so so maybe the stuff he gave me to take works after all. It's not only the skin that improves, it's the running too.

One week after the little 5K I ran fourteen miles, and it was the easiest big run ever, if one can even call it big. The legs did not feel the distance until around mile ten, and the rest was relatively effortless. It makes me wonder if I have run my eight marathons a year or two ago lugging around all that heavy metal. My doctor says yeah, that's what happened.

I told myself I have to be up to a half on any given day to run a marathon again. I am not there yet. On some days even a 5K gives me trouble. Even an entirely smooth big run comes with the overpowering sensation that one more step beyond it would be too big a stretch. But I know I will outrun that sensation. I know I will run a marathon.