curious

It's been two weeks since I ran last, and it will be at most another ten days or so until I can start running again. By now I am not so eager anymore. Oh, we humans are twisted beings. Or at least I am.

With the injury, I have felt for days imbalanced, dislocated, misaligned, not only in body, but also in spirit somehow, as if the pain in my hip was a sign of disharmony with the wider world. Grounded, I have felt guilty and diminished, dismayed to find myself vulnerable and mortal like everybody esle.

(I know, I know, I tend to exaggerate...)

But in the meantime I got used to leisure. I enjoy my little vacation. No getting up unbearably early, no sweat, no smell, no soreness, no endless placing of foot ahead of foot... No overwhelming rigor, no exhausting discipline. Just me, free to losen up, at ease to go with the flow of the day, justified in repose.

I am not exactly looking forward to losing this.

But then, maybe, I am. It's going to be different somehow, I sense that. Running again is going to feel different than before. How, I do not know. But I am curious.