falling apart

Three days after the system check confirmed full function capability, I woke up with a stiff back. It went downwhill from there. For more than a day my lower back hurt so badly I could not straighten myself out. I hobbled around at work literally bent out of shape. This has happened before, but not since I am running.

I went out to run yesterday, but a few steps out the door it struck me as stupid to impose four miles worth of pounding on a stressed spine, so I turned around and went back into the house. Just in time.

Today when I stepped on the treadmill I still felt fragile, as if I could break at the waist. I didn't.

Then... I have had this weakness in my right ankle forever, even before I was running, but it has not bothered me in the last six months or so. This morning I felt it again, like a hollow space in my joint, undermining structure. My mind hesitated each time before putting the foot down, but the treadmill wasn't waiting.

And then... the tendon in my left groin, the one I pulled last September, announced its presence too, just so I don't forget it exists, and is tender, and has feelings.

I feel as if I am walking a tightrope. No, I feel as if I am running a tightrope.

I ran four miles, wishing it were over. Wishing I had my marathon behind me. I am so tired. Perhaps I could accelerate my training so I run the Vancouver FULL marathon in June. That is a crazy thought, I know, on a day like this.